Wow. I haven’t been here in a loooooong while. I guess things were starting to get better, but they actually aren’t. I’ve realized, just a few days ago, that I keep having this suicidal thoughts, especially when I’m upset or when I’m sad. A voice will just whisper to me the idea to go kill myself and then I find myself not being to stop thinking about. It’s horrible. I’ve spent days wondering if I should go to the nearest police station if I have these thoughts. When they occur, the pull is just so so strong, it’s just so tempting to put an end to my life, the screams are getting louder, and I feel as if nobody wants me here. I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling all alone, as if i’m bothering everyone:
– My parents just don’t care about me. Well at least they pretend to care, but I can feel it, see it, I am a burden to them and just a trouble maker. I can sense that they wish that I was never born, that I make their life miserable.
– My friends….. yeah… well I don’t really have some. Just people who ignore me and don’t give a damn about friendship.
I’ve recently been *self-harming myself again, and it’s a scary thing. I never thought I would go down that road again, I never thought I would end up writing my own goodbye letter.
Help me I need ideas on how to cope!
*Edited by youthspace for triggering content.